I saw Xiaxue's latest post and it reminded me so much about myself that I've decided to blog so late at night. =P

Well, I must say that she's really quite courageous to 'show off' her result slips in her blog, and I'm not even brave enough to mention that I was from CJC in the first 3 mths of my JC life. This is something that I really admire about Xiaxue, so frank and candid about her life. Many things that I would have experienced but feel too embarrassed to tell others, she'll blog about it. That girl is sooooooooo good. There's nothing wrong with being from CJC I guess, especially now to think of it. (So, no offense to the CJCians there!) But when I had just graduated from my secondary school and when I was there, I didn't feel proud of myself at all.. so much so that I stopped going there after the first month, when I moved further away from that school. Even though my PSLE score wasn't as good as hers, I was from a school no less better than RV, therefore most of my classmates and friends eventually attended JCs in the top 5 ranking.

I had no choice but to went on to first 3 mths without any of my friends, as I wouldn't want to be the odd ball who didn't make it to JC, even though I was among the botton few of my class. I felt so bad during that phase of my life that I really pitied myself. Other than the culture shock to be around convent girls who conversed mostly in English, I remembered I was with another NY gal on the first day at CJC when there was a rude guy from SJI who said "NY girls? Why are you all here?" I was also asking myself why I was there at that point of time. And I refused to attend school soon after that, even though the school called up to enquired about my absence.

I certainly wasn't as brave as Xiaxue to be so determined to take the Poly path.. I think I was really someone who's very average and wanted to be in the mainstream like other Jane, Lucy or Mary. And so I was, floated along with the rest, all my life. Now, 6 years down the road, I really have no shame to speak of anymore... it's just a phase of my life that I once felt so strongly about, so bitter-sweet to remember nowadays. Sometimes, I'm really regretful of why I didn't study harder when I was younger, but either I'm too stubborn to admit my faults, or I didn't want to dwell on the past too much, I don't know. I have so many things to be regretful about, yet I have many things to be thankful about too. Overall, I think I'm a really lucky person, so I have to count my blessings. I managed to float along with the rest to finish my JC, graduated from Uni and to have found my dream career path. Met a few bumps here and there, but eventually I'm still here. Certainly, I could have done better. But that 'could have' will be better if I can make it a 'will have' in the days to come.. I'm a disgustingly overly optimistic person at times!

Anyway, I was writing in my 散文 assignment that I'm certainly a person who's made out of the words 小时了了。。 I topped my level once when I was in my Primary School, and was the champion for three years for my school's chinese eassay writing competition (that's the only thing that makes me suitable for my job now). And since this is the time to brag, I must add that I was even nominated to be my class's model student when I was in Sec 2, hahahhahaa.. I couldn't even remember how I did that at all.