If life has ups and downs, then I think I must be really experiencing one of the down times. Argghhh.. I really hate this and I really hope I will pass this tough time without killing myself or anyone. Haven't been getting this kind of nauseous feeling for a long time.. ever since I was slogging for exams maybe. Sigh sigh sigh.. it's disgusting, really feel like murdering someone out there suddenly. If there's a murder case at Sembawang, I thinK I will be the one responsible for it. Haiz, think I'm really too drained (stealing serene's favourite lyrics "I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes") and everything doesn't seemed to be right suddenly (frustration, frustration..mustn't let it get me), hopefully tomorrow when I'm at ATC can get too busy to think about anything again. I did have a lot of fun at the ATF course, but when I got back here, I feel really so overwhelmed and somehow quite sad also. The idea of booking back there tomorrow again is not too appealing, but I think I'm glad to leave everything behind again. Really glad that Serene will be around during ATC, maybe there'll be time when we will slack together and I can talk to her, today went back just to see her but we only managed to talk a while before rushing back to pack our stuff and rest. Yeah, more about that tmr, if things are going well. Sigh, quite bad of me to use the blog to vent things out, but I really can feel myself fading away, whatever can give me back the strength I need? Tmr will be a better day..=)

Alright, now I'm feeling better. Think I'm only packing two days of the ATC stuff with me, as most likely I won't be back after SIE training. Doesn't seemed too practical for me to go back, since its only left with campfire and camp closing. I'm sad to be missing out the campfire again, the last course when they had the campfire was also the last night at the village in Thailand for me, and I was thinking that I'm missing out on the most fun part of the camp and things back here. Went to see Mr Seong today, and we have the agreement that I will be the 2nd I/C of the camp, so I'm crossing my fingers that nothing will go wrong and that he'll be around the whole time.