Yeah, I'm back.. it's not hard to realise that I've just blog before I went to bed last night and now I just woke up and I'm back again. Ermm, this just shows how interesting my life is. Luckily Mum is out and now with my laptop back, I can surf inside my room without her nagging behind my back, yeah! I realise that my break from the addiction to net surfing is only temporary and an illusion. Now, I can feel my Xiaoxing breaking apart again, everynight it's hanging every now and then, and even my icq and broadband got problemsssss. Diee.. I should have requested the person to reformat my comp.
Oh okay, now what else to blog about? I dreamt about sailing last night, I wasn't sailing in my dream ( I wonder why? ) but watching lots of people sailing and it's very fun. And I woke up thinking that I want to go diving again. Sigh..really wondering if I should ask Mum for her opinion the next time I go diving. BUT, I think that'll be really suicidal, I'll sure kena lots of scoldings and probably I won't even be able to get out of the house. The safer measure is don't mention, don't ask and you'll don't even know if she's really against it to make yourself feel better. Yeah, I think she still doesn't know that I went diving at Aur this year. My conscience is speaking up again, just realised that I'm supposed to be HQ next week for meeting. And I'm still supposed to go for a few ATCs. I think at this age, I'm really not scared of pple scolding me but it's my conscience that pricking me. Maybe I can tell them that I went swimming everyday since I'm too bored and had a overdose of chlorine that made my hair like that. Yah right, that will be quite dumb also. Or maybe I should emphasize on the fact that I'm not a student anymore. So what? Still remember when Sis was in JC and we were rushing off for school 7 or 8 years ago, I had to help her spray her hair with black hair spray every morning so that she don't have to face disciplinary actions. hahaa.. I was really thinking why she so stupid, went through all these troubles and then have to cover up again.. dumb leh.
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
Oh yeah, it's my commencement day! Hmm..actually it should be one of my big day I guess, many years down the road I may be looking at the photos and thinking "those were the days" again.. Was thinking back about the last grad ceremony I had attended, and that was when I was leaving NY. It was really full of sadness and tears. Hee.. I don't think tomorrow will be as memorable as that but it's the first and the last time I'm going to school with my sisters and Mum after our primary school days. Was really surprised at their enthusiasm as intially I thought that they wouldn't bother and I even had the thought of skipping the whole commencement. Haven't get a proper family portrait done for years and finally we're going to do it at the studio after this, I'm really glad about it but at the same time, I'm also quite regrettable that I'm not getting a PhD or Masters to make the whole thing more meaningful..=P
13 tuition sessions, 2 meetings, 2 driving lessons, one KOP and a commencement..that's what keeping me busy this week and glad to say, more of the Vitamin M flowing into my pocket. No matter what, I'm still keeping myself really tired and busy and it's already the middle of July, heh..I'm really wondering when I'll start to feel bored. I think I'm indeed lucky (or unlucky), to be saved from the tiring and demoralising job search for the time being. Oh yeah, also looking forward to next Wed which happened to be my non-tuition day and Aileen had asked me to organise a hen party (hmm, really wondering why it's called a hen party in the first place) for the girls' night out in town. We had been thinking about this for weeks, sigh..think everyone is really deprived from a fair share of fun after working their heads off.. heh heh.. Just highlighted my hair although was quite determined that I'll nver colour my hair. Sigh, can't decide whether the effect is good or not, but personally don't really like it that much. Maybe I've seen too many pple with that kind of colour in school or on the streets, should have coloured it purple or blue instead. The only consolation is that Jay just coloured his hair for the new album! =) I'm excited, as 933 is going to play his new song on air tmr.. it's really the big day!
13 tuition sessions, 2 meetings, 2 driving lessons, one KOP and a commencement..that's what keeping me busy this week and glad to say, more of the Vitamin M flowing into my pocket. No matter what, I'm still keeping myself really tired and busy and it's already the middle of July, heh..I'm really wondering when I'll start to feel bored. I think I'm indeed lucky (or unlucky), to be saved from the tiring and demoralising job search for the time being. Oh yeah, also looking forward to next Wed which happened to be my non-tuition day and Aileen had asked me to organise a hen party (hmm, really wondering why it's called a hen party in the first place) for the girls' night out in town. We had been thinking about this for weeks, sigh..think everyone is really deprived from a fair share of fun after working their heads off.. heh heh.. Just highlighted my hair although was quite determined that I'll nver colour my hair. Sigh, can't decide whether the effect is good or not, but personally don't really like it that much. Maybe I've seen too many pple with that kind of colour in school or on the streets, should have coloured it purple or blue instead. The only consolation is that Jay just coloured his hair for the new album! =) I'm excited, as 933 is going to play his new song on air tmr.. it's really the big day!
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
Hmm, it's late at night but I'm still up, as I had slept all the way till 1pm this afternoon. Thinking that I haven't blog for the past few days, I've decided to take a look about the life of my friends. Surf into Xien's blog first, and was surprised at how much she had blog over the past week, it's all about her interviews, job searching and dilemma about what to do. I think I would have logged on and blog almost everyday if I'm as bored as her, actually I'm facing the same problem but putting everything behind my mind anyway...=P
Went into Danping's blog next and got updated about her life over the past few days when I wasn't around. I'm really amused and I must admit that her blogs are always quite interesting and entertaining. It's like reading Anne Frank's diary. Knew that she had a row with Zhixiong since Sunday, but can't help but log onto my own space and blog about it after reading what happened.. heh heh, as coincidentally also had the same long long talk when Hock Sui and I went to genting last week (or is this a new trend?).. It's really amazing, a few years ago when we all get together to talk crap we're all discussing about school and NP, but now we must be all getting on with age.. as slowly and slowly its all about future and jobs and sometimes even marriage and kids (the topic became a hype when Mei Hui gave birth recently). As for me, really haven't been givng it much thought as it's really walk one step, count one step. I don't even know when and where I will land myself a job right now. I think I'm really not very keen about planning for the future, not that I'm really against it. Hahaha.. Luckily we didn't have a heated arguement during the trip although there was certainly different views, it was just purely individual's fantasies of the future. I'm not really sure if I'm really as pessimistic and cynical as Zhixiong but luckily I read Danping's blogs, otherwise I really wouldn't know how it feel to be on the receiving end of it, as I know very well that I'm also very cynical. When I think about having children in future, all I can think of is the pain during labour and also no more diving and kayaking. The other day I was on the MRT and there was this pregnant lady who was lucky enough to be offered a seat in front of me, I was staring at her tummy and wondering about how gross it is to walk around with such a big tummy, and she had a bratty child with her as well. Mum used to tell me that I just popped out from the stone when I was a young child (as I'm a very naughty kid), now I know it's not possible and it can't be that easy.
Went into Danping's blog next and got updated about her life over the past few days when I wasn't around. I'm really amused and I must admit that her blogs are always quite interesting and entertaining. It's like reading Anne Frank's diary. Knew that she had a row with Zhixiong since Sunday, but can't help but log onto my own space and blog about it after reading what happened.. heh heh, as coincidentally also had the same long long talk when Hock Sui and I went to genting last week (or is this a new trend?).. It's really amazing, a few years ago when we all get together to talk crap we're all discussing about school and NP, but now we must be all getting on with age.. as slowly and slowly its all about future and jobs and sometimes even marriage and kids (the topic became a hype when Mei Hui gave birth recently). As for me, really haven't been givng it much thought as it's really walk one step, count one step. I don't even know when and where I will land myself a job right now. I think I'm really not very keen about planning for the future, not that I'm really against it. Hahaha.. Luckily we didn't have a heated arguement during the trip although there was certainly different views, it was just purely individual's fantasies of the future. I'm not really sure if I'm really as pessimistic and cynical as Zhixiong but luckily I read Danping's blogs, otherwise I really wouldn't know how it feel to be on the receiving end of it, as I know very well that I'm also very cynical. When I think about having children in future, all I can think of is the pain during labour and also no more diving and kayaking. The other day I was on the MRT and there was this pregnant lady who was lucky enough to be offered a seat in front of me, I was staring at her tummy and wondering about how gross it is to walk around with such a big tummy, and she had a bratty child with her as well. Mum used to tell me that I just popped out from the stone when I was a young child (as I'm a very naughty kid), now I know it's not possible and it can't be that easy.
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
Mum just told me about the death of the Iran twins who had their brains separated over the past few days. I wasn't really following the news until they died today and went to read about the whole process on Straits Times. Can't imagine how it'll feel if I'm stuck with someone else at my head for the past 22 years, then how do I decide where to go? Hmm..wondering how the Siamese twins Chang and Eng survived. They even had their own family, it's rather odd. I'm was beginning to feel really lucky about myself when I remembered that I have some birth defects also (but still feel lucky though!), I used to have a slightly less than perfect heart but fortunately it's still working well. The unilateral dimple is an inheritance from Mum and her ancestors, I think that's a really lucky birth disorder =), even though I've got quite tired of people asking me to dig another hole on my right cheek as well.
Monday, July 07, 2003
Yeah... my Xiaoxing is finally revived, with new motherboard, new speaker and new battery. Just scrolled down my blog and realised that I had been living without it since 25th April, that's more than two months since it went dead! Jolene will be thrilled as all her photos are intact, they didn't reformat the hard disk afterall, all the 'recent' documents used were all my notes for exams, term papers etc. I just can't believe how all these things are really useless to me now (I've deleted all the school stuff of the last semester rightaway).. =P But I'm still glad that some of the stuff are still here, at least I don't have to reinstall all the programs and download the songs again, even some the songs seems outdated now. =) This shows that sometimes you can get used to living your life without certain things; it may once seemed unbearable for you to part, but it's just a matter of time before we all get used to it. Life goes on... I think I've even cured quite a bit of my internet addiction in these few months, and I'm sleeping earlier and earlier every night instead of surfing aimlessly. I think probably the next time I'll be here in school again is convocation day!
Initially thought that I would be free the whole day, all my younger friends are going back to poly to start their new semester today, and all the other older friends are either bumming around or working their heads off. Was rather surprised when Edwin called to meet up for coffee later, I think he must be too bored on the first day of school. Although I have to travel to Bishan for tuition later and then come back to Clementi again for dinner and coffee with them, I'm quite glad that they've not forgotten me after I've MIA for a few weeks. I've been skipping quite a few of the gatherings, meetings etc.. this had never happened and everyone must be wondering what I'm up to.. =P
Initially thought that I would be free the whole day, all my younger friends are going back to poly to start their new semester today, and all the other older friends are either bumming around or working their heads off. Was rather surprised when Edwin called to meet up for coffee later, I think he must be too bored on the first day of school. Although I have to travel to Bishan for tuition later and then come back to Clementi again for dinner and coffee with them, I'm quite glad that they've not forgotten me after I've MIA for a few weeks. I've been skipping quite a few of the gatherings, meetings etc.. this had never happened and everyone must be wondering what I'm up to.. =P
Sunday, July 06, 2003
What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Which [Finding Nemo] characters are you?
Woah..can't believe I'm Dory, especially when Hock Sui keeps saying that the fish reminds him of Serene.. And on my, that irritating whale voice! Hahaha.. but I'm really glad though, as Dory is positive!
Yeah, it's a bright sunny Sunday morning!! =) I seldom blog on Sunday as usually all my weekends are burnt outside, especially for the past few weeks. So naturally I'm so glad that for once I can sleep as late as I want.
Kayaking
Supposed to be down at club kayaking today, but I'm still glad that I don't need to travel all the way to the east this morning. Didn't get as much rest as I've needed to recover fully, and I think my flu and cough is suffering from a relapse instead. I'm still quite motivated about kayaking (maybe the idea of getting allowance is still a novelty to me), mainly because more and more friends are there to play with me!! Yeah! Yah, and after taking courses the past weeks, I think it's really time that I practice harder on my rusty skills.. *sheepish*
Tuition
Yesterday was really a marathon tuition day, I was really frustrated in the morning as my tuitions were back to back, I was running late inevitably and I wasn't getting any breaks to catch my breath and grab something to eat.. Sheesh.. It was really that bad. I had to take cab to travel around, it's really ultimate challenge. But of course, the motivation was that I was getting my allowances, and that lifted me away from my temporary bankruptcy. I was organizing my schedule in my mind yesterday, and I was thinking of finding a replacement for kayaking next Sunday, so that I can go Genting again without canceling my tuitions. The next thing I know, I was retrenched..haha.. great! Sometimes, psychic powers are wonderful. Joel's mum just called this morning for makeup tuition tomorrow as it's Youth Day holiday (didn't realise there's still such thing as Youth Day), I think school holidays and public holidays makes no difference to me anymore.. I can declare for one whenever I like.
Angel and Devil
What a serious title I've placed up there. I awoke this morning feeling rather guilty, I think I'm really not myself at times (or maybe, that's how I'm really like). And as I laid in bed, trying to sort things out, I'm reminded of the Smurf cartoon I've watched as a kid, and there's the 'Angel' and 'Red Devil' appearing in the minds of the smurfies and telling them to do good and bad things. For a moment, I thought that I'm not just sick physically, but maybe I'm getting schizophrenic..hiak hiak.. Sigh, the devil voice is getting rather vivid and disturbing at times lately and it's building resentments in me. The sad thing is.. all the resentments I have are all towards the same person. Well, he's just an easy target I guess. As for the angelic voice, I think that's the normal me trying to tell myself to get a grip, get a grip of yourself.. Hmm, I really hate to lament, and get all whiney. What's the point? But sometimes I think that's what everyone need. Read a mail from Serene this morning about Casey after her marriage finding it more difficult to find a listening ear and felt that she has a point there. Thought that I should have went to Nicole's birthday bash last night, but after reading Giam's mail, I'm think I really didn't make the wrong choice last night. Hahah..although it's really bad of me not supporting Ms Wu organising, but I think it would have been even more awkward for me.
Kayaking
Supposed to be down at club kayaking today, but I'm still glad that I don't need to travel all the way to the east this morning. Didn't get as much rest as I've needed to recover fully, and I think my flu and cough is suffering from a relapse instead. I'm still quite motivated about kayaking (maybe the idea of getting allowance is still a novelty to me), mainly because more and more friends are there to play with me!! Yeah! Yah, and after taking courses the past weeks, I think it's really time that I practice harder on my rusty skills.. *sheepish*
Tuition
Yesterday was really a marathon tuition day, I was really frustrated in the morning as my tuitions were back to back, I was running late inevitably and I wasn't getting any breaks to catch my breath and grab something to eat.. Sheesh.. It was really that bad. I had to take cab to travel around, it's really ultimate challenge. But of course, the motivation was that I was getting my allowances, and that lifted me away from my temporary bankruptcy. I was organizing my schedule in my mind yesterday, and I was thinking of finding a replacement for kayaking next Sunday, so that I can go Genting again without canceling my tuitions. The next thing I know, I was retrenched..haha.. great! Sometimes, psychic powers are wonderful. Joel's mum just called this morning for makeup tuition tomorrow as it's Youth Day holiday (didn't realise there's still such thing as Youth Day), I think school holidays and public holidays makes no difference to me anymore.. I can declare for one whenever I like.
Angel and Devil
What a serious title I've placed up there. I awoke this morning feeling rather guilty, I think I'm really not myself at times (or maybe, that's how I'm really like). And as I laid in bed, trying to sort things out, I'm reminded of the Smurf cartoon I've watched as a kid, and there's the 'Angel' and 'Red Devil' appearing in the minds of the smurfies and telling them to do good and bad things. For a moment, I thought that I'm not just sick physically, but maybe I'm getting schizophrenic..hiak hiak.. Sigh, the devil voice is getting rather vivid and disturbing at times lately and it's building resentments in me. The sad thing is.. all the resentments I have are all towards the same person. Well, he's just an easy target I guess. As for the angelic voice, I think that's the normal me trying to tell myself to get a grip, get a grip of yourself.. Hmm, I really hate to lament, and get all whiney. What's the point? But sometimes I think that's what everyone need. Read a mail from Serene this morning about Casey after her marriage finding it more difficult to find a listening ear and felt that she has a point there. Thought that I should have went to Nicole's birthday bash last night, but after reading Giam's mail, I'm think I really didn't make the wrong choice last night. Hahah..although it's really bad of me not supporting Ms Wu organising, but I think it would have been even more awkward for me.